VIII
Loskutnaya, Room 33 Moscow, May 31, 1880, 1 a.m.
My dear Anya, I thought of not writing to you to-day, for I have almost nothing to write about. But as I ’ve at last received your note (of the 29th), and as days are certainly coming when in the bustle I shall not be able to write you anything, or at best a couple of lines, I have decided to write now. I am so very glad that you are all well; I am glad for the little ones and for you; it is as if my anxiety had rolled away from my heart, although I still miss you. It is annoying that Grandma won’t wait my arrival. — Aksakov promised me Gogol’s autograph,[^1] although I wonder if I shall have time to get it now. And besides, I have forgotten and muddled in my head all the directions for the celebrations, so that I shall have to inquire who lives where from Yuriev. A certain mathematician (I forget his name) called on me to-day and sat for a long time in the reading-room of my hotel, waiting for me to get up. When I awoke, he came in, stayed precisely three minutes, and did not even sit down: he called to declare his deep respect, admiration for my talent, his devotion, gratitude; he expressed it all ardently and went away. An oldish man, with a most sympathetic face. After that came Lopatin, the young man whom Polivanov had charged to look after my tickets for the Town Hall, and to give me all necessary information, etc. We entered into a conversation and, to my pleasant surprise, I found him an extraordinarily clever man, very intelligent, extremely decent, and sharing my own convictions to an extreme degree. In a word, a most pleasant meeting. After that came Grigorovich, and lied and gossiped a great deal. They really seem to be preparing themselves to say something spiteful at the sittings and dinners. Grigorovich is also a delegate from the Literary Fund. The other three are: Turgenev, Gayevsky, Krayevsky. Each received 150 roubles from the Fund for their expenses. Only our Slav Society voted nothing, nor could it have done so. Grigorovich complains that 150 roubles is too little. Indeed, money goes so fast here that although I shall have to pay little at the hotel, yet I shall have spent a great deal: cabmen, tobacco, special expenses, buying of wreaths, etc. Apropos, the two obligatory wreaths are prepared by the Town Hall at 30 roubles for the two from each delegate. If Zolotariov does not come, then I shall certainly have to pay. I must also buy cuff-links.
I dined at the Moscow Tavern. Then I went to Elena Pavlovna and got your note. Her Manya is a most lovely girl of twenty, and I noticed there a young doctor as their guest, who was very intrigued by her. After that together with Viskovatov we went to Anna Englehardt, who is still sitting at home with her bad leg, and there we met her doctor, who says that the illness is pretty serious if it be even slightly neglected. Then we walked home with Viskovatov. In the morning there were two thunderstorms and a downpour, and now the night is wonderful. These are all my adventures for the time being. How am I going to read my speech? Aksakov said that his was the same as mine. It is sad if we coincide so literally in our ideas. — How shall I read at the evening literary recitals the scene of Pimen and the Poor Knight, and also (most important) Tyuchev on Poushkin’s death? It is interesting to try and imagine my meeting with Annenkov. Will he indeed hold out his hand? I should not like quarrels.
Well, good-bye for now, darling Anya. Kiss the little ones warmly, remind them of me. Remember me to Anna Nicolayevna. How is she, has she had a good journey? Mine was not. I ought to call on Katkov. Farewell, I embrace you closely.
Wholly your F. DOSTOEVSKY.
I bless the little ones.
P.S. — [The first word is struck out] near Auntie playing cards with her. how can he think of coming here.