Moscow, May 23-24, 1880.
My dearest friend Anya, you can’t imagine how the news of the death of the Empress upset me. Peace to her soul, pray for her. I heard about it from the passengers in the train just after we left Novgorod. The thought struck me immediately that the Poushkin festivities might not take place. I even thought of returning home from Tchudov, but gave up the idea because I could not decide. I kept thinking ‘If there are no celebrations, then the memorial could be unveiled without celebrations, with just literary meetings and speeches.’ Only on the 23rd when I bought the Moscowskya Viedomosti as we left Tver, I read the announcement of Governor-General Dolgorouky, that the Sovereign had ordered the postponement of the unveiling of the memorial to another date. I thus arrived at Moscow without any object whatsoever. I think of leaving on Tuesday the 28th at 9 o’clock in the morning. Till then I shall, at least, avail myself of the opportunity now that I am in Moscow and get to know something. I shall also see Lubimov and have a talk with him about the whole idea, also Katkov. I shall go the round of the booksellers, etc. If only I can manage it all! I shall, at last, also learn all the ins and outs of these literary intrigues. I parted with Anna Nicolayevna in Tchudov; we kissed each other cordially. She promised to come back if it is at all possible. It was a hot day. Literally I did not sleep a wink and I was tired and completely done up when I arrived at Moscow about 10 o’clock (Moscow time).
At the station Yuriev, Lavrov, all the editorial staff and contributors of the Russkaya Mysl, Nicolay Aksakov, Barsov, and a dozen others were waiting to welcome me. We were introduced to one another. Immediately they asked me to come to Lavrov for a specially arranged supper. But I was so worn out by the journey, so unwashed, my linen, etc., so dirty that I refused. To-morrow, the 24th, at 2 o’clock, I shall go to see Yuriev. Lavrov said that the best and most comfortable hotel in Moscow was the ‘Loskutnaya’ (on the Tverskoy, close to the Square, close to the Church of Our Lady of Iversk), and he instantly rushed away and brought back with him a driver saying he was a cabman, but I don’t believe he was a cabman, but an expensive coachman or perhaps his own. When he put me down at the hotel, he refused any money, but I forced 70 kopecks on him. The ‘Loskutnaya’ is full up, but they found a room for me at three roubles per day, very decently furnished; but its windows face the court and a wall, so that I think it will be dark to-morrow. — I foresee that my speech cannot be published before I deliver it. It would be strange to publish it now. Thus, my journey will not pay for itself for the time being. It is now one o’clock in the morning. It is very hard to be without you three, without you and the dear children.
I kiss you all a great deal, first you, and then Lilya and Fedya. Give them a big kiss from me and tell them that I love them awfully. Probably I shall not have time to get anything from the booksellers, for they will hardly settle accounts in two days.
Good-bye for now. I wonder if I shall have a letter from you. Write care of Elena Pavlovna. I don’t think you can answer this letter, however, as I should not get it before the 29th, and on the 29th I want to be in Roussa. If you yourself have thought of writing to Elena Pavlovna, it would be splendid. If any misfortune happens (which God forbid) wire to me to the ‘Loskutnaya,’ on the Tverskoy, F. M. Dostoevsky. My room is No. 32. Once again I embrace all the three of you and kiss you many times. — Your F. Dostoevsky.,,